Help! I’m not mommy enough

I doubt that anyone can be adequately prepared for motherhood and the avalanche of emotions and responsibilities it throws your way. The appellation ‘mommy’ can fill your heart with love to bursting and your mind with apprehension all at once.

Except you are one of those selense mommies I see at the hospital when I take my burrito for immunization. They look like they just stepped out of a style magazine, face beaten to perfection, nails on fleek, smelling like fifth avenue, dresses intensely ironed clinging to their revenge bodies. Melanin or yellow face, everything is popping. The amazing part is their babies are equally gorgeous, rounded cheeks on perfect faces, ‘aww’ worthy any day. Those mommies are many at church too. They have a hang of the whole situation, or at least they appear to. These kind of scenarios just make me tell myself ‘B, see your life outside’.

I love my baby to bits and will choose to be her mommy over and over again but I cannot lie, this mommy thing is hitting me left, right and center, taking everything I have. I am that mommy that always has the ‘I need a bed’ look. It has become normal for me to forget my earrings at home or turn up late almost everywhere. Usually, the only thing commendable about me is my baby.

Recently I had it really bad, I was more tired than alive. People were asking if I was alright and my face was breaking out in pimples- a sure sign of stress. I needed help, a vacation, a break- something. Carrying all my burdens on my shoulders, I dragged myself to church that evening. It was there it hit me, I am supposed to cast my cares not count them. Indeed, nothing had come my way that I could not handle, I had just shifted focus from the source of my strength. Little wonder I was drowning in stress.

An aunt who is a mother to three adorable girls had told me when I just had my baby. Motherhood gets crazy, between your baby and your husband, it’s going to seem like you are always on demand. If you keep giving of yourself without taking back, you will sooner than later burn out. No matter how busy or how urgent it gets, never forget to draw strength from the lord. Listen to a song that helps you connect, find a verse to meditate on, have a message playing on your phone- just somehow make sure you are touching God all through your day. He’ll show you short cuts and hacks that can make it easy. He’ll give you quick solutions and renew your strength. He’ll help you enjoy your baby and your husband. You cannot do it by yourself.

Truer words were never said. A drained woman makes a clumsy mother, a clumsy mother makes a cranky baby, a cranky baby makes a frustrated father and it all comes back to the mother. Looks like my mother is right again- a home is only as happy as the woman.

Dear mommy, young or old, stop trying so hard, stop feeling so empty. Let the lord cover you with his warmth, let him wrap his love around you, let him satisfy you within. When you understand this truth and touch its reality, you will be able to testify- I can do all things through Christ!


Photo by Kat Smith from Pexels

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